Thoughts of you and me

Recently my dreams have been plagued by a recent breakup. The first one happened the night before last, and I had dreamed that we were having dinner at a Cheesecake Factoryesque type restaurant. I walked over to his seat and told him how much I missed him, and in return received no response. The next one was last night, I dreamed that we were staying in a cabin in the woods, and I decided to take a quick nap, instead of waking me he went off to enjoy great adventures with our friends and upon his return I felt as though he didn't want to share any of those great adventures with me. I found these dreams quite interesting as I woke up feeling a little empty inside and found it profoundly interesting how accurate those feelings were to how I felt in the relationship and currently.

You see, since the breakup which was a little over a week ago, I have thrown myself back out into the wild. Who has time to grieve when the transgressor isn't grieving? But everyone says people should take the time to grieve. How much is enough time? Especially if the relationship didn't make it past 6 months. But I have to say this one hit me pretty hard...I was actually rather surprised especially since I had kept my distance so well for the first 3 months...but I think the thing that made it hard was I actually saw potential with him...Let's be honest here...we've all done it. We've all dated someone for a decent amount of time KNOWING they were not the one. I will be the first to admit I have. But somewhere between adolescence and the the sinking reality that I, as a woman, am a depreciating asset (sorry girls, lets face it, we can not George Clooney ourselves and get better with age...hahah ok maybe...with the help of botox and plastic surgery) my mindset has completely shifted from dating to date, to dating for something REAL. And I felt something real with him. Fast forward to today and obviously that didn't work out too well. But before I sign off, let me tell you what I've learned thus far from this breakup and previous ones...

1. Always follow your gut...unless you just had your heart broken, in which case, do the exact opposite of whatever your gut tells you! Yes that means you, stop mass texting the poor thing. It does not make him want you back. If anything it scares him! Think about how you would feel...ya exactly.
2. Your imagination will always fuck with you and you'll go through scenarios of apologizing, begging...thoughts of if I do this and say this then this will happen. Well you're wrong...nothing ever works out the way it does in your head...like that time you were little and swore up and down that when you grew up you'd have mutant powers like wolverine...not going to happen
3. Christina Aguilera was right...if it comes back it's yours...that's how you know...And I say this because, the person left for a reason, and if they were to return from your begging, apologizing, whatever, it wouldn't be by their own accord and more than likely another breakup will ensue...so save yourself the agonizing pain...again...and move on. Because happy people attract people. And say you two are soul mates, then you want to be happy and whole again for your reunion right? Not bitter and mean with hatred in your heart....just saying.
4. I will admit up front that I am guilty as charged. But try not to facebook stalk him...it'll just make you sad. Do it for your own sanity really.
5. My friends are the BEST group of people. 

Until Next Time.